So wealthy Republican Gov. Douglas A. Roscoe Jr., aka "Doug Ducey," has ordered the state Commerce Authority to "rebrand" Arizona.
This unleashed no small amount of mirth. A few serious articles appeared, too (see here, here and here).
As Arizona Daily Star columnist Tim Steller pointed out, the state's problem isn't image but reality. If you doubt this, read through our Arizona's Continuing Crisis. Scan eight years of columns here. Correct those appalling problems identified and the Grand Canyon State will regain its luster.
But I'm not sure the in-state media are prepared, or would be allowed, to go far enough in examining the situation.
Arizona is at or near the bottom of almost every measure of economic, civic or social well-being, a national beacon of bigotry and know-nothingism, precisely because of the ideology Gov. Roscoe worships. Getting there has required an enormous amount of civic vandalism but Republicans got it done.
Specifically, this one party has controlled the Legislature, the most powerful branch of government, since the 1980s. All but two governors were Republicans. At the same time, the GOP moved from being a mass political party to one of ever more extreme "conservatism." Centrists were pushed out. Incumbents feared a challenge from their right, so became ever more ideologically enslaved. The result is what I labeled in 2001 the Kookocracy.
So Gov. Roscoe and the reverse-evolutionary-poster of legislative leaders own this one. And don't forget the retrograde move to Diane Douglas as Superintendent of Public Instruction. By comparison, her predecessor John Huppenthal resembles Horace Mann.
They own it but there are no consequences at election time. The same holds true for the High Sheriff for Life. The old Anglos would vote for him, pace Edwin Edwards, even if he were "caught in bed with either a live boy and a dead girl."
Every step, they have been enabled and funded by the charter school racket, the private prison racket, the assorted hustles of elected officials, the national right-wing infrastructure epitomized by the "Goldwater" Institute — an advocacy and litigation outlet that local media persist in calling a "think tank — and, most of all, the Real Estate Industrial Complex.
Wrecking the state has been quite profitable. Why do they hate Arizona?
All I can guess is that Gov. Roscoe, with that ever-helpful business background, wants to bamboozle the capital and talent so needed with a slick advertising campaign. He looks in the mirror and sees Scott Walker's running mate. But a state is not an ice-cream franchise scheme.
If he is so naive as to believe: Why us? Arizona has followed the national playbook of cutting taxes and regulation, defunding education, being cruel to the poor and attacking women's reproductive rights. Why aren't we Texas (with championship golf!)? — then he's dumber than even I think. Behold, dear voters, the consequences of believing intelligence and education represent an off-putting elitism.
Texas is sui generis, with massive oil wealth, numerous real corporate headquarters, real cities, a huge population, world-class universities and the benefits that come from a century of bringing home enormous amounts of federal funding.
In Arizona, the anti-city policies espoused by the right have been especially damaging. Phoenix, more tolerant and diverse, deserves better. Has Gov. Roscoe lifted a finger to make the Phoenix Biosciences Campus into Houston's Texas Medical Center (which was Jeff Trent's vision)? Has he even been to Houston?
Also, Texas is different in that it has a significant chunk of its population that deeply, passionately loves the state and its mythology. Most Arizonans think love is sunshine, cheap housing, wide streets and relatively quick access to San Diego and Vegas.
And love will only get you so far. Take away Texas' unique advantages and you get Kansas. All over the New Confederacy, states that have followed the ALEC playbook are hurting compared with their blue competitors. Only Arizona and Mississippi have achieved this low with such élan.
Even "tasking," to use the corporatespeak profaning the Queen's English, the Arizona Commerce Authority shows the rebranding is another short hustle. Competing states have real commerce departments with real economic-development toolkits. This "public-private" successor to the old Arizona Commerce Department still awaits a thorough proctology exam by an investigative reporter.
As for the humor this exercised provoked, I guess it beats thinking about climate change. But I can't laugh. It hurts too much. The joke is on Arizona.
Governor Roscoe wants to put some lipstick on the pig.
Posted by: Jerry McKenzie | August 20, 2015 at 09:01 AM
Up here in the White Mountains, the voters are unable to connect the dots between :
Vote in the R's
The R's cut taxes just like they said they would.
The R's cut school funding just like they said they would.
The voters are very angry about education funding cuts.
Meetings are being held to try to find out how this happened.
So far they haven't figured it out.
It would appear arizona and states like it are going through some form of mass retardation.
At this point I'm guessing it would take a two by four upside the head to help clear their thought process.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 20, 2015 at 09:54 AM
Thank you for speaking the truth once again but then you've always had a bad case of cassndra syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome
1) The condition of speaking the truth and having no one believe you.
2) The condition of being able to predict the future, be it the outcome of a particular event, or the reactions of others to the same event, and having no one believe your prophecy until it transpires.
3) Being able to see or understand things long before others, often resulting in them coming to the same conclusions long after your own initial analysis.
Posted by: Donna | August 20, 2015 at 10:59 AM
She ain't no Cassandra, but our resident brainiac up here in the mountains, Sylvia Allen , state legislator, told an education meeting the reason Az doesn't have money for schools is because of all the empty land that doesn't pay taxes.
And the meeting attendees said, duh. Ok. That would splain things.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 20, 2015 at 11:38 AM
I wonder whether Ducey sees a difference between re-branding and actual change? There's a kind of magical thinking and superficiality at play here. And it does play politically. Witness his election. Witness his re-branding of himself. (Branding in the sense of a product name, not the type used on livestock.) If I had considered whether I'd vote for him, I d look at someone who not only changed his name for re-branding purposes (fleeting, uncertain identity beyond getting rich) but changed it to Ducey. How in the hell did he pick that one?
Posted by: Dawgzy | August 20, 2015 at 01:36 PM
At least it's a dry rot, and you don't have to shovel cronyism off your driveway!
Posted by: Pat | August 20, 2015 at 03:35 PM
He looks in the mirror and sees Scott Walker's running mate.
And Sheriff Joe? He'd make a great sidekick for Mr. Trump. I'd put on hot pink panties to see that ticket...
As far as the rebranding goes, you know Arizona may well lead the nation in the indirect funding of the ACLU. That might be worth a shout out to progressive businesses looking to relocate:
Arizona spends more on filling the pockets of liberal lawyers than filling potholes.
The full article is worth a read, but allow me to paste in my favorite part:
http://tucson.com/news/state-and-regional/arizona-owes-at-least-k-in-legal-fees-in-separate/article_9292d6db-b937-5533-bc53-94a04567b884.html
Posted by: koreyel | August 20, 2015 at 03:44 PM
I have the start of a slogan but I need help with the finish.
"Arizona, we don't have any of those limousine liberals or Gulfstream environmentalists, but we do have......
Help?
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 20, 2015 at 06:10 PM
Edward Abbey and Charles Bowden. And Tom Zollener. And we used to have Jon Talton.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 20, 2015 at 06:23 PM
It's Tim Steller, not Tom, and John Huppenthal was Diane Douglas' predecessor, not Tom Horne. Once an editor...
Posted by: John D'Anna | August 21, 2015 at 08:12 AM
one martini, two martinis.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 21, 2015 at 08:26 AM
Dawgzy,
Ducey changed his name to his stepdads - who adopted him. Nothing nefarious or deceitful about that.
Posted by: Kerry | August 21, 2015 at 10:31 AM
The world's best rebranding folks? See the Front Pages
The Mystery of ISIS
Posted by: cal Lash | August 21, 2015 at 11:58 AM
Thanks, John.
Posted by: Rogue Columnist | August 21, 2015 at 12:55 PM
Lol, you can't fix dumb by saying it is genius.
Next up, our big school districts have five to seven years of life before their debt load kills them, because the charters are sucking their money right out.
And that means that most of Arizona's municipal school bonds are going to be the equivalent of toilet paper.
That is going to flow so well in Paradise Valley.
Lol.
If interest rates go up, Arizona schools go broke even faster.
Lol.
I only have four more years of putting up with Arizona's weird education crap, and then my kid is out of here.
Not that the outcome is terrible, mind you, but the long term health of our education system is bankruptcy.
Charter schools were supposed to be cheaper, yet they seem to be begging for more and more money too. Could it be that we just believe every hustler in our Oz?
Oz of Az, ignore the man behind the curtain.
Lol.
Glad to see the hustlers are in charge, because that way we know they are going to break everything.
BTW- state government is nearly moribund, and entirely dysfunctional.
Lol.
Nothing higher taxes can't fix, but reality is making that impossible in our failed state.
Posted by: Concern Troll | August 21, 2015 at 02:21 PM
I doubt very much that the current sitting governor gives a rat's patootie about why AZ is circling the drain. The rebranding campaign is one more "look over there!" ploy that isn't working as it is allegedly intended, but is working as media filler. My personal feeling is that the only thing that is of any concern to the governor is his personal fortune and, perhaps if he is not as black hearted as I give him credit for, the personal fortunes of a few other people. On that metric everything is going swimmingly.
Posted by: Colleen | August 21, 2015 at 05:13 PM
Doug rebranding “himself” as Caitlyn A. Roscoe would have been so much more amusing.
Posted by: wkg_in_bham | August 22, 2015 at 01:34 AM
A rebranding correction would be the removal of the destructive human species and Arizona given a Wilderness designation. Same O for New Mexico and Utah. Tourists on foot with no more than a 60 lb back pack with no matches and no guns but a buck knife and a bed roll would be allowed in the Wilderness areas for up to two months.
Wonder how many of those old minority moving box cars it would take to move all them "White" folks back to where they came from?
Posted by: cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 10:24 AM
Knock knock
Who's there?
Malibu police.
Yes, good morning.
We're here to arrest Bruce Jenner for vehicular manslaughter.
He's not here.
Who are you?
Caitlyn Jenner, would you like to leave a message?
Yes, here's my card. Have him call when he gets back.
I sure will officer. Can I touch your gun.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 22, 2015 at 10:24 AM
Ruben R U smoking before breakfast?
Posted by: cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 10:53 AM
Extra strong French press coffee
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 22, 2015 at 10:59 AM
isn't it interesting some of the governors we've had.
Gov. Rose, you just wanted to hug her and have milk and cookies with her.
Gov. Babbitt, nerd
Gov. Janet, no comment
Gov. Brewer, a look from her could cause a plant to stop photosynthesizing.
Gov. Ducey, he makes you want to check that your wallet is still in your pocket and you feel the urge to use Purell on your hands.
We've had some characters.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 22, 2015 at 11:08 AM
Ruben add some Kulua to that coffee. You forgot the little White Picannany (pickaninny) Governor.
And Rose is and was a good person and about as honest a politician as one could find in Arizona. Her and Polly ??, both from the mining country of Globe and Miami.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 12:19 PM
Polly Rosenberg
Posted by: cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 04:08 PM
Re-branding my desert.
Why Dubi and Phoenix should not exist.
Why there should be only small occasional Oasis inhabited by a few; not many humans in the deserts. cal lash 082215
From Resist Much, Obey Little.
“Was there ever such a stillness as that which rests upon the desert at night? Was there ever such a hush as that which steals from star to star across the firmament? You perhaps think to break that spell by raising your voice in a cry; but you will not do so again. The sound goes but a little way and then seems to come back to your ear with a suggestion of insanity about it.” John Charles Van Dyke
“There is something about the desert that the human sensibility cannot assimilate or has so far not been able to assimilate. Perhaps that is why it has been scarcely approached in poetry or fiction, music or painting…. Meanwhile under the vulture-haunted sky, the desert waits—mesa, butte, canyon, reef, sink, escarpment, pinnacle, maze, dry lake, sand dune, and barren mountain,-- untouched by the human hand.” Edward Abbey.
Posted by: Cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 06:46 PM
There you go cal. You did it.
The rebranding slogan will be:
Arizona- it really is a desert. If you don't treat it as such, it can and will kill you.
At the bottom of the billboard in small letters it will say " thank you for your tourist dollars now get the hell out of here"
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 22, 2015 at 07:58 PM
Thanks Ruben
The great Sonoran Desert
Usque ad finem.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 08:41 PM
Phoenix; After the Great Collapse and the Fire Next Time the Good News is that Gila Monsters will sun themselves on south Central Avenue and tumble weeds will roll eastward on Van Buren. And Tempes (Neil's) bridge across the Salt will collapse without the aide of a monkey wrencher.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 22, 2015 at 09:55 PM
Cal, that is not likely to happen in any of our lifetimes.
What we have extrapolated from data regarding climate change is that the Southwest will get hotter in the immediate future. What we also have witnessed, especially in Arizona, is more violent storms when the heat is briefly interrupted by summer monsoon deluges.
The Hohokam built canals in order to sustain their civilization in an arid region. The canals were lifelines that irrigated fields and filled drinking pools. Unprecedented periods of flooding taxed and repeatedly destroyed the sophisticated Hohokam canal system. Without dams or groundwater storage capability to divert floodwaters, downpours wiped out agriculture. As the Salt, Gila, and Agua Fria rivers swelled and usually dry creeks turned surrounding land into turbulent floodplains, alluvial soil was destroyed by the saline sedimentation that followed.
Periods of drought were not primary factors that led to the collapse of the Hohokam civilization. Many of their canals were built to supplement local water supply during drier periods. Destructive flooding followed by disease and famine is what likely caused the collapse of their civilization as it was known in the Salt River Valley. Due to the topography of the area, Tempe is aptly named since it is a true geographical vale: an area with a particularly wide floodplain.
What I believe this means for metro Phoenix is that even with climate change factored in, the area is sustainable long-term. However, only certain areas are truly sustainable (e.g. central Phoenix, portions of Tempe) with sprawling regions the least resilient. In order for Phoenix to take a truly sustainable form it must continue to grow denser. This would allow more resources to be shared within a manageable footprint.
Many areas of "the valley" should never have been developed: Apache Junction, Gilbert, Chandler, and wider footprints of Buckeye, Goodyear, Peoria, etc. come to mind. These areas continue to subside, contribute to air pollution, add to the growing heat island, and result in the loss of billions of dollars in opportunity costs via the price of fuel, maintaining a vehicle, wasting time sitting in traffic, the epidemic of deadly auto related accidents, and a built environment scaled for the automobile which is inefficient and dehumanizing.
Land subsidence creates 2 glaring predicaments for those suburbs and exurbs named above: 1)Ground water resources are disappearing along with easily accessible and therefore, cheap water. 2)As land subsidence continues, infrastructure will be damaged and destroyed repeatedly. The negative externalities are basically limitless since these hidden costs and associated unintended consequences will lead to expensive mitigation and maintenance projects.
The opportunity costs of having built these sprawling suburbs are outrageous. When a major flood event occurs the damage will be staggering. If I had to find a silver-lining it would be the possible exodus of Sheriff Joe loving, Midwestern transplants (please take Ducey back to Ohio with you) after the flood. If Mother Nature wishes to exact some justice she would start with the mega sprawling and free riding developments known as the Sun Cities, Sun Lakes, the San Tan "Valley" and North Scottsdale.
Posted by: phxSUNSfan | August 23, 2015 at 04:56 PM
Glad I was able to stimulate You.
Good response.
Thanks
Cactus Cal
Posted by: cal Lash | August 23, 2015 at 05:19 PM
I think you are being much too critical of Az. Consider that Southern Cali, Nevada, New Mexico, Sonoma and Utah abut. Can you say that any is clearly doing better? (OK I think Utah is) Comparing any state to Texas is probably going to come up lacking. Similar to comparing Seattle to almost any other city is too.
All that said, these “rebranding” campaigns are little more that pep-rallies. The only ones that seem to have any power are the organic kind: e.g. “keep Austin weird”.
Posted by: wkg_in_bham | August 24, 2015 at 06:20 AM
I'm reading a book about the founding of Denver. It was a very walkable, livable city. Then when the population exceeded 1,000 things started going to hell.
Could be a lesson there.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 24, 2015 at 07:50 AM
Drought made the Hohokam leave. I know, cause when I was reincarnated, I was really thirsty.
Drought, flood. Neither can be proven wrong, so both are right.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 24, 2015 at 08:11 AM
I don't know that State-level tourism campaigns have ever been particularly effective. California probably has had the best ones that I've seen, but, then again, they're a massive state with a range of climates and natural beauty that few principalities in the world could ever hope to possess. Despite all their cultural and social activities, therefore, their ads still focus in large part on natural beauty. To me, this is important.
I would say perhaps an emphasis on our stunning natural beauty and tremendous range of climates would be a good way to "brand" the state. Can you "brand" a canyon or a cactus? I guess we'll see.
The worst way to sell a state is to talk about convention centers, golf courses, arenas, hotels, etc., the same sort of commercial stuff that every state has to varying extents.
Focus on what makes us UNIQUE.
Posted by: Mark in Scottsdale | August 24, 2015 at 09:15 AM
wkg_in_bham: Enjoyed the crack on Gov. Roscoe -- that would have been much more interesting. And Utah is doing better because the only corruption game there is the church, their senators and representatives deliver the bacon, and the colonies in AZ, CA, CO, ID, and TX deliver remarkable tithes.
Posted by: Jerry McKenzie | August 24, 2015 at 10:04 AM
Wkg the reason Utah is still part of the US is they are still "Bleeding the Beast." And until you come the desert u will know about as much as I do about Atlanta in the midst of red neck Christian Jihadist country.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 24, 2015 at 12:23 PM
Cal,
"Bleeding the beast" is probably better as "milking the gentiles"
Posted by: Ramjet | August 24, 2015 at 03:58 PM
Ramjet that's why I was a cop and you were an teacher.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 24, 2015 at 04:20 PM
Ruben Perez, it is called science. I'm leaning on discoveries recently made by anthropologists to make the call.
Posted by: phxSUNSfan | August 25, 2015 at 08:20 PM
PHXSUNFAN and Ruben your both right. So they pulled up and migrated south and integrated with others. Here's a good read. The Opatas.
Posted by: cal Lash | August 26, 2015 at 11:19 PM
I agree, science. I have a tree ring chart the shows droughts lasting 60 to 80 years during the two centuries that the ancients wandered away looking for a drinking fountain. Interspersed with floods would have really put them in a mood saying "let's blow this joint. There's gotta be someplace better than this. We can't afford LaJolla. Let's try north of here. "
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 27, 2015 at 11:14 AM
Cal, a branch of the family is from Aconchi, Sonora. So, Opata it is.
Posted by: Ruben Perez | August 27, 2015 at 05:08 PM
I've read some anthropological studies, and Native American folklore, that indicate the modern day Akimel O'odham and Tohono O'odham peoples are descendants of the Hohokam.
Interestingly, archaeologist have made discoveries that indicate Pima groups were present in the region at the end of the Hohokam sequence. Even more strange is evidence that suggests the Sobaipuri, ancient ancestors of the Pima, were starting to settle closer to the Salt and Gila River before the Hohokam abandonment.
Posted by: phxSUNSfan | August 28, 2015 at 05:16 AM