Rogue Columnist

Still Nixon to kick around

I was listening to a Fresh Air podcast the other day when the guest said that President Richard Nixon, elected as a conservative Republican, declared a federal "war on cancer" in 1971 with seed money of $100 million for research ($580 million in today's dollars). It started the trajectory that now has cancer-research funding at $4.8 billion.

That snippet reminded me that Nixon also created the Environmental Protection Agency and enthusiastically signed the Clear Air Act. He supported the Clean Water Act but vetoed the version Congress sent him based on cost (the veto was overridden). The similarly groundbreaking Marine Mammal Protection Act — also supported by Nixon and it became law in 1972.

These things happened not because Nixon was the prisoner of a Democratic majority in Congress — the Democrats were often divided and in those days Republicans had liberals, centrists and conservatives — but because he believed in them or thought they made good politics. He also largely funded LBJ's Great Society, albeit some cloaked in the rhetoric of his "New Federalism."

Nixon was no tax cutter. Instead, he instituted revenue sharing with states and cities, putting federal funds behind his conservative principle that they could use the money more efficiently. He proposed a federal health-care program that foreshadowed in many ways Obamacare, as well as a form of guaranteed income for all. Amtrak saved passenger trains, albeit imperfectly, on Nixon's watch.

For decades, Richard Nixon has been the devil to the left. But the left isn't politically relevant anymore (Jerry Ford Republicanism is what passes for "the left" in today's broken political spectrum). What's more consequential is that Nixon is now the devil to the right, which is more powerful than ever. So in the public square today, we are relitigating not Watergate but the domestic achievements of Tricky Dick.

Growthgasm! (No faking)

According to today's news from the Census Bureau, metro Phoenix added 84,980 people from July 2013 to July 2014. This makes Phoenix No. 6 among the 10th largest metro gainers numerically. Maricopa County ranked second among counties nationally with a gain of 74,000.

Neither metropolitan area nor county clocked in leading percentage growth, which can be misleading anyway (No. 1 was fracking capitals in North Dakota). Although it is worth noting that they did at times during the 1990s and early 2000s.

So what are we to make of this besides in-migration is finally starting to accelerate after a sharp drop during the Late Unpleasantness? Sun Belt regions generally led in population growth, so Phoenix fits within this trend as the economy gains strength under our Socialist Kenyan Dictator (Did I mention that he's black?).

Here are a few thoughts:

Evil Frank Underwood

For at least the first two seasons, Netflix's House of Cards had plenty going for it: Kevin Spacey as conniving congressman Francis Underwood, Robin Wright as his equally devious wife, Claire, murder, suspense, and the breathtaking beauty of the nation's capital.

It was never troubled by reality. Underwood, a Democrat, represents the South Carolina district around Gaffney — white Southern Democrats are virtually extinct. He's Whip, but the real power in the House behind the nearly comatose Speaker and Majority Leader — no Whip would have that influence. A real hoot for Zonies was the character of Hector Mendoza, the Senate Republican leader and senator from Arizona — yeah, sure.

But this season, as Underwood has become president and the writing focuses to a dangerously tedious degree on policy, House of Cards has become something else. Now I am prepared to say, yes, Frank Underwood is evil.

Foreigner

The biggest kick in the head on this trip back home came when I drove past Kenilworth School, where I went from first through eighth grade. Other alumni include Senators Barry Goldwater and Paul Fannin.

When I was there in the 1960s, the stately building was surrounded by grass and trees (watered by flood irrigation), including the mature palms that lined Third Avenue. Teachers could park on the streets, although a number of them walked because they lived nearby. The houses were all landscaped with lawns, trees, flowers, and hedges. In addition to making the neighborhood attractive and walkable, this helped cool it. We went back to school without air conditioning in September.

Kenilworth avoided aggressive attempts to demolish it when the unnecessary Papago Freeway inner loop was rammed through the neighborhood in the 1980s. It also survived the curving of Third Avenue, which destroyed the grid designed to give the neighborhood a pleasing aspect. And the mammoth widening of Seventh Avenue to feed the freeway.

Now a bunch of rocks have been thrown down in front of the school. A driveway and even larger parking lot have been added where the grassy playground once stood. Where we would lie on the cool ground, watch jet contrails, and dream the dreams of youth. The dissonance is painful. The classical revival building set amid all this ugliness is similar to a diamond lying in a pile of manure.

The trouble is that I am one of the few people who would even notice. Like Carson McCullers, "I must go home periodically to renew my sense of horror." But I am increasingly a foreigner here.

Getting by in Phoenix

In the summer of 1976, the owner of Phoenix Ambulance became convinced that I was the leader of a secret, impending unionization drive among the EMTs (I wasn't, but good idea). By August, he had forced me out and made sure I couldn't get a job at another ambulance firm.

He also fought me over unemployment benefits. For a month, until a hearing amazingly went my way, I was worse than broke. I began applying for food stamps but the process was so demeaning that I stopped. Things got so bad that I had to get food from St. Vincent de Paul.

I applied for 50 jobs — nothing. I was 19 years old, very highly trained in one field and had been well paid for my age. Nobody was going to hire me at Jack in the Box at minimum wage. The local economy was still slow; the 1974-75 recession had arrived late. The classified advertisements were an exercise in futility (although I did apply to be a projectionist at an adult theater — I often think of my X-rated career that might have been).

Eventually, I found work at another ambulance company, finished college, left Phoenix, had other career callings (and came back home and was kicked out). Ever since I have given money to St. Vincent de Paul (and St. Mary's Food Bank). The point is that I know how hard things can be in Phoenix.

It is true for many more people today.

Playing chicken Kiev

Insurgents, including perhaps Russian soldiers, in Donetsk, in contested eastern Ukraine.

Congressional Republicans, some Democrats, and the military-industrial complex want us to go deep in the conflict between Ukraine and Russia. Arm Ukraine. Send troops to nearby NATO countries. Even puts boots on the ground in Ukraine itself.

Or go deeper. Some believe Washington and the CIA played a significant role in destabilizing and ultimately ousting the elected president of Ukraine, Viktor Yanukovych. But this overlooks Yanukovych's blunders and mishandling of both foreign relations and brutality against demonstrators. If he was corrupt, welcome to Ukraine.

Contrary to the dSi narrative, Russia actually does have vital national interests at stake. Ukraine was for centuries a province of the Russian empire and then a "republic" in the USSR. Even when things were cozy between Washington and Moscow in the 1990s, Russian President Boris Yeltsin declared Ukraine part of his country's "near abroad."

The United States has no — no — vital national interests in Ukraine.

Driving Phoenix history

Central Avenue and Adams Street in 1909. The original Hotel Adams, later lost to fire, is to the right. Before it was Central, the main drag of Phoenix was Center Street.

Even with light rail (WBIYB), most Phoenicians spend vast amounts of time in their cars. But you can't avoid history, if you're paying attention.

Most people know the east-west grid of the original city has streets named after presidents, from Grant to the south to Roosevelt at the north (named after Theodore). The least deserving president is James Buchanan but there he is, right by the railroad tracks.

With so many streets in 1,500-square-miles of urban space, there's also plenty of asphalt to give faux Spanish names, or the names of developer's wives and daughters (Cheryl, Susan, Linda, Pamela, Sharon, Cindy, etc.). But the next time you're racing along in your SUV, consider:

McDowell Road, which was the wagon road to Fort McDowell, the supplying of hay to the cavalry being one of early Phoenix's raisons d'etre. Irwin McDowell was in command of union forced defeated at First Bull Run in the Civil War.

Thomas Road was named after William Thomas, a rancher and Maricopa County recorder at the turn of the 20th century.

Earll Drive takes its name from E.A. Earll, who platted the Earll Place homes. The origin of nearby Cheery Lynn is unknown (at least to me).

Osborn Road does not honor the state's seventh governor, Sidney Preston Osborn, who served from 1941 to 1948. Instead, it was named after homesteader John Preston Osborn, Sidney Osborn's grandfather.

School's out completely

Whatever the final numbers, the outlook for education in Arizona is grim. Blame the Kookocracy. Blame the governor, wealthy Republican Douglas A. Roscoe Jr. aka "Doug Ducey." Or credit them. A majority of Arizonans voted them in.

Education Week's respected Quality Counts report ranks Arizona 47th overall. The state has been down in the basement with Mississippi in per-pupil funding for years. By no measure has funding kept up with student population or dealt with inequalities among districts.

Similarly, higher education has received ever-decreasing portions of the state general fund. The slash-and-burn cuts that are imposed every few years are never restored.

The new regime intends to double down: at least $104 million in cuts to universities, elimination of all state support for the largest community college districts, and, despite a claim of increasing K-12 funding, a serious reduction there because the promises aren't in real dollars. Including inflation, the actual spending on K-12 will be a 13.5 percent reduction from 2005-2006.

Now, my mother said, "If you can't say something nice about a person, become a newspaper columnist." In that spirit, I can't even credit the Kooks with originality. They are merely playing out a national strategy being enacted in every state capitol where Republicans hold sway.

Even so, Arizona has suffered so many decades of such vandalism, the consequences will be more severe. Real lives will be affected, opportunities to escape poverty and climb the ladder of opportunity smothered. The damage won't stop there.

Republican-English Dictionary

If it's true that we live in a conservative country with a permanent Republican majority — or anywhere close — it is important to know what they're talking about.

So your humble servant offers this handy translation guide. I promise to update it as I think of new words and phrases or commenters offer up good ones. And enjoy more meaningful conversations with your red friends.

Activist Judges: Jurists who make rulings with which conservatives disagree. Antonyms: A Supreme Court that decides an election the Constitution insists should have gone to the House of Representatives or gives the rights (but not responsibilities) of citizenship to corporations, reversing decades of precedents.

American Exceptionalism: The United States is uniquely virtuous and commanded by God to work its will on other peoples. The greatest country in the world. Slavery, Jim Crow, lynchings, the conquest and near extermination of 500 Indian nations, stealing half of Mexico in a slavery-driven war, Japanese internment, and the deaths of innocents in our wars of choice are not part of this exceptionalism. Nor do any other nations believe they are exceptional.

Birth Certificate: A forged document to allow the illegal election of Barack Hussein Obama.

Boondoggle: Any public investment that conservatives disagree with, which is pretty much anything. Antonym: Funding freeways and subsidies for defense contractors, fossil fuel companies, and other politically connected corporations.

Citizen: A corporation.

Christian Nation: The idea that not only the Declaration of Independence but the Constitution were grounded in the tenets of today's megachurch fundamentalism, and there should be no impediment to laws based on "Christian" beliefs. "Judeo-Christian" is allowed so long as the Jews agree with Bibi Netanyahu.

Christian Values: Male supremacy. Fundamentalism. "God hates fags." A family is a man, woman, and children. End Times theology. Might makes right. Antonyms: grace, compassion, forgiveness, peace, humility, and special attention to the poor.

Class Warfare: Any discussion of today's historic level of inequality or activism to raise the minimum wage, make unionization easier, or raise taxes on the wealthy.

Climate Change: A hoax perpetuated by liberals and climate scientists to make us ride light rail and live in city condos.

Communist: See Eisenhower, Dwight David.

Conservative: Someone who agrees with us. On everything.